I have been having some excellent communicative moments at work lately. Which is good, because that is pretty much the core business of my job as a speech pathologist. Reflecting on it, I think it has a lot to do with persistence, consistence, relationships, risk-taking, trust and perfect cadences.
persistence - I have kept going with these little people with complex communication needs. Sometimes it does not happen at that minute. Or that day. But each time I talk with them, or model something with them, or listen to them, or watch them carefully, another dot is filled in in their painting of their communication and relationship with the world. Each time I encourage others to see how their kids are communicating it fills in another tiny piece of their puzzle. It is definitely not all up to me - I would say my job is like a tugboat gently nudging the big ship along a course, a multimodal communicative course. I speak goals around the kids - 'I am going to love having a roast dinner with you at graduation (to a little person who has trouble eating anything)', 'I can't wait to get an email from you (to another little person who is just starting to learn letters for her name on an alphabet chart)', 'You are going to make a great speech one day' ( to another little person who is just starting to explore sounds).
consistence - turning up is really important. The rhythm and expectation that you will come builds a trust, and you are ready to communicate more. Today, when I was feeling less than well and not quite on top of my game for most of my sessions, turning up was the thing that was most important for one boy. He was happy to see me at the same time, in the same place, and he concentrated for such a long time and we had such beautiful moments with playdough play. Mostly because I turned up. Not because I had a flashy session planned.
relationships - it's hard to explain to the university students that do prac with me, but hanging out is really important. It is the 'hot air' of relationships, the chatter, the stories, that underpin most of our communication. This counts for the people I work with as much as the kids. It's hard to write notes on, and hard to write SMART goals for, but the hanging out time is one of the most important things I do.
risk-taking - sometimes communication is all about risks. And if it is something you are not good at, and have failed at a lot, and you have complex communication needs, there needs to be a lot of trust with your communication partner that they will understand you and will not let you down, If you are going to have a go at saying it, whatever way you can, you need to be sure you will be understood. Building rhythms and rhymes, and s p a c e , into the conversations helps the kids take risks. It's ok. I will wait for you.
which leads me to
perfect cadences - that sense, in music, that you want something to resolve well. To not leave it hanging, discordant, but that you want it to finish with a 'ahhh' that strums in your heart. Sometimes communication happens like that - I send out a question, a comment, an unfinished sentence, a gesture, a picture model, and the student finishes it for me with ...........whatever is needed. Ahhh. That's what I was hoping for. That we would connect, and join in the moment together.
So I have had so many of these moments lately with students. Their steps are tiny but so large at the same time. It warms the cockles of my speechie heart.
Showing posts with label speech therapy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label speech therapy. Show all posts
Friday, July 25, 2014
Monday, April 14, 2014
13 things I have learned being the mum of a picky eater who now eats
While I am in reflection mode I thought I would remember the years of dealing with my picky eating second daughter. The things I learned and the parenting fails.
1. Eating is so emotionally powerful. If they couldn't control anything else in their life they could control where and when they opened their mouths. I have (mostly) learned not to take it as a personal rejection if they refuse the meal I had spent ages over. My identity as a mother is not around whether my children praise me for every morsel I feed them. My job is to consistently serve up healthy balanced meals and model how to eat it.
2. I just needed to BACK OFF. I have found that if we had the expectation that she would sit with us at mealtimes, and presented her food, then merrily eat around her and talk about different things, most of the time she might try what is in front of her.
3. Telling her about research helped. I informed her that most of the children around the world, regardless of country and age, take about 20-25 minutes to have a meal. Beyond that it is mucking around and wasting energy. So mealtimes became a 30 minute routine - washing hands (sensory getting ready), eating together, and cleaning up your plate. This completely took the pressure off sitting and waiting for her to finish eating.
4. Having a stable posture really made a difference. My child would spend half of the dinner time upside down, running around the table or swinging on the chair. Giving her a 90-90-90 (feet, knees, hips) sitting position helped unbelievably. I used phone books under her feet and/or the little step Ikea stool. She didn't have to worry that her body was swinging around in space and could concentrate more on the different textures in her food.
5. We changed most of our meals to family style serving - when you put out all of the food and let her choose what she would like to eat and how much. And we included a safe food that we knew she would eat. For example, when I made slow cooker stew (which she hated) I served bread slices with it (which she loved). She gradually started dipping her bread into the stew and trying it. And I didn't say anything or force her too, but just modelled how to do it. We eat a lot of wrap meals - tacos, burritos, lamb wraps, rice paper rolls etc. And I hide some vegies in sauces (eg minced zucchini in spaghetti sauce).
6. She was involved in the cooking - both at home and at school. They have had the Stephanie Alexander program running at school, which has been amazing. The flavour combinations are complex and the things they eat straight out of the garden are so fresh. My daughter has started eating recipes she has done at school that include all sorts of things she had never tried before.
7. We have a meal plan. She can see for the week what I am planning to cook and plan for it in her mind. If it is something she doesn't really like she has a few days to work up to it. I have been cooking my way through a Jamie Oliver cookbook - so some of the flavours are really different for her. But with warning she copes really well.
8. Dessert night - we have dessert once a week on family night. If you finish your meal or not you still get dessert. On other nights if you finish your meal or not you don't get dessert. Finishing her broccoli has not become dependent on whether you get icecream. And we have made pretty good desserts.
9. Having both parents model good eating and be calm about food intake. I have learned this the hard way about not getting emotionally attached.
10. Recognising that sometimes I was getting her to try the most sensorily difficult food at the times when she was the most tired eg stir fry for dinner (all different textures and tastes mixed in together). I give her more veges and meat earlier in the day when it is calmer - leftovers for breakfast, celery and carrot sticks for morning tea, beef burgers for lunch
11. Encouraging her to try something at least 15 times before she knows she doesn't eat it. For example, she never really liked fish/seafood. In fact hates them. I kept offering it, until she threw up some dumplings that had prawn in them. I am fairly certain she may be allergic to seafood (like her grandad). I work around it now. Although I kept offering tomatoes in different formats, and now she eats cherry tomatoes and chopped up tomatoes in a salsa.
12. Letting her pack her own lunchbox and choose what to eat out if it. I made a list of all the options she could have in her lunch box and gave her the control. Of course all of the options I gave her I was happy with her eating (eg fruit, crackers, some home baking). When she was a toddler I used to pack her lunchbox and say to her - 'you can have anything you like out of there, I don't mind'. She controlled what she ate and when. I controlled what went into the lunchbox.
13. Kids learn to eat by eating. All that messy-food everywhere-putting anything and everything in their mouth-experimentation stage is building up their sensory system to try different tastes and textures and get their mouth ready for eating. Some kids, like mine, take a while to get used to new things, so building up their tolerances slowly, carefully and calmly, possibly over years, is really important. Being persistent and consistent pays off. It may be just sitting at the table while the scary despised food is there. It may be being able to take her to someone's house for a BBQ and knowing that I didn't have to bring a separate meal. I needed to celebrate the wins.
Of course, I have only had a picky eater, not a true fussy feeder. I work with some kids who need such support with their eating due to major sensory and physical difficulties. It is a long road for some kids - but I am there to support them. I will never ever say 'they'll eat when they're hungry'. Some kids just don't.
I have learned that stand-offs at mealtimes are no fun for anyone, and we descended into power struggles that nobody won. We have still not got there totally, but our mealtimes are a lot calmer and more enjoyable. And I don't dread cooking, fearing it would be left abandoned on a lonely plate.
Although I have well-fed chickens and a satisfied dog.
NB I have attended a SOS Picky Eaters and Fussy Feeders course with Dr Kay Toomey which is where a lot of this information comes from - it kind of changed my life with eating a bit. I also really recommend the book 'Child of Mine' by Ellyn Satter.
1. Eating is so emotionally powerful. If they couldn't control anything else in their life they could control where and when they opened their mouths. I have (mostly) learned not to take it as a personal rejection if they refuse the meal I had spent ages over. My identity as a mother is not around whether my children praise me for every morsel I feed them. My job is to consistently serve up healthy balanced meals and model how to eat it.
2. I just needed to BACK OFF. I have found that if we had the expectation that she would sit with us at mealtimes, and presented her food, then merrily eat around her and talk about different things, most of the time she might try what is in front of her.
3. Telling her about research helped. I informed her that most of the children around the world, regardless of country and age, take about 20-25 minutes to have a meal. Beyond that it is mucking around and wasting energy. So mealtimes became a 30 minute routine - washing hands (sensory getting ready), eating together, and cleaning up your plate. This completely took the pressure off sitting and waiting for her to finish eating.
4. Having a stable posture really made a difference. My child would spend half of the dinner time upside down, running around the table or swinging on the chair. Giving her a 90-90-90 (feet, knees, hips) sitting position helped unbelievably. I used phone books under her feet and/or the little step Ikea stool. She didn't have to worry that her body was swinging around in space and could concentrate more on the different textures in her food.
5. We changed most of our meals to family style serving - when you put out all of the food and let her choose what she would like to eat and how much. And we included a safe food that we knew she would eat. For example, when I made slow cooker stew (which she hated) I served bread slices with it (which she loved). She gradually started dipping her bread into the stew and trying it. And I didn't say anything or force her too, but just modelled how to do it. We eat a lot of wrap meals - tacos, burritos, lamb wraps, rice paper rolls etc. And I hide some vegies in sauces (eg minced zucchini in spaghetti sauce).
6. She was involved in the cooking - both at home and at school. They have had the Stephanie Alexander program running at school, which has been amazing. The flavour combinations are complex and the things they eat straight out of the garden are so fresh. My daughter has started eating recipes she has done at school that include all sorts of things she had never tried before.
7. We have a meal plan. She can see for the week what I am planning to cook and plan for it in her mind. If it is something she doesn't really like she has a few days to work up to it. I have been cooking my way through a Jamie Oliver cookbook - so some of the flavours are really different for her. But with warning she copes really well.
8. Dessert night - we have dessert once a week on family night. If you finish your meal or not you still get dessert. On other nights if you finish your meal or not you don't get dessert. Finishing her broccoli has not become dependent on whether you get icecream. And we have made pretty good desserts.
9. Having both parents model good eating and be calm about food intake. I have learned this the hard way about not getting emotionally attached.
10. Recognising that sometimes I was getting her to try the most sensorily difficult food at the times when she was the most tired eg stir fry for dinner (all different textures and tastes mixed in together). I give her more veges and meat earlier in the day when it is calmer - leftovers for breakfast, celery and carrot sticks for morning tea, beef burgers for lunch
11. Encouraging her to try something at least 15 times before she knows she doesn't eat it. For example, she never really liked fish/seafood. In fact hates them. I kept offering it, until she threw up some dumplings that had prawn in them. I am fairly certain she may be allergic to seafood (like her grandad). I work around it now. Although I kept offering tomatoes in different formats, and now she eats cherry tomatoes and chopped up tomatoes in a salsa.
12. Letting her pack her own lunchbox and choose what to eat out if it. I made a list of all the options she could have in her lunch box and gave her the control. Of course all of the options I gave her I was happy with her eating (eg fruit, crackers, some home baking). When she was a toddler I used to pack her lunchbox and say to her - 'you can have anything you like out of there, I don't mind'. She controlled what she ate and when. I controlled what went into the lunchbox.
13. Kids learn to eat by eating. All that messy-food everywhere-putting anything and everything in their mouth-experimentation stage is building up their sensory system to try different tastes and textures and get their mouth ready for eating. Some kids, like mine, take a while to get used to new things, so building up their tolerances slowly, carefully and calmly, possibly over years, is really important. Being persistent and consistent pays off. It may be just sitting at the table while the scary despised food is there. It may be being able to take her to someone's house for a BBQ and knowing that I didn't have to bring a separate meal. I needed to celebrate the wins.
Of course, I have only had a picky eater, not a true fussy feeder. I work with some kids who need such support with their eating due to major sensory and physical difficulties. It is a long road for some kids - but I am there to support them. I will never ever say 'they'll eat when they're hungry'. Some kids just don't.
I have learned that stand-offs at mealtimes are no fun for anyone, and we descended into power struggles that nobody won. We have still not got there totally, but our mealtimes are a lot calmer and more enjoyable. And I don't dread cooking, fearing it would be left abandoned on a lonely plate.
Although I have well-fed chickens and a satisfied dog.
NB I have attended a SOS Picky Eaters and Fussy Feeders course with Dr Kay Toomey which is where a lot of this information comes from - it kind of changed my life with eating a bit. I also really recommend the book 'Child of Mine' by Ellyn Satter.
Friday, November 8, 2013
romeo and juliet - the adapted version
At the Special School this term I have been exploring Romeo and Juliet with the Seniors. It has been so fun doing some age appropriate material with these kids, and I have used google images of a young Leonardo de Caprio as some of my picture symbols. It is especially exciting doing it with them, as some of the kids are using their communication devices (iPads with an app called Proloquo2go) to participate in the play and activities that I have.
I have written an adapted version of the play, cut out about 12 characters and simplified the language a lot. I kept in about 10 lines of the original Shakespeare and 6 main characters. We have acted out the play, and done language activities around it (because I am such a speechie we have to make sentences and learn new vocabulary!). I have done character bingo (with lovely pictures from the Baz Luhrman film), opposites (life/death, love/hate, Montegue/Capulet etc), sentences with different tenses, rhymes, match the quote to the character and an interactive quiz on the whiteboard. We also have a dance party each session - because Romeo met Juliet at the Capulets party. I have had to put One Direction and Katy Perry on my iPad.
And the kids are getting it. They are getting the big themes of love, and lost love, and jealousy, and death. I have put the expectation to them that they will engage with this text, and they have risen to the challenge. They are talking about it and recognising themselves in characters. They are excited about learning. The teachers are really amazed and supportive. We divide into teams of Montegues and Capulets and taunt each other across the classroom. We have made banners for Montegues and Capulets, and disguises for when we creep into the party.
I am so excited about this that I am going to start adapting some more of the senior texts for the students that I work with. Macbeth maybe.....
Sometimes my job is pretty fun.
I have written an adapted version of the play, cut out about 12 characters and simplified the language a lot. I kept in about 10 lines of the original Shakespeare and 6 main characters. We have acted out the play, and done language activities around it (because I am such a speechie we have to make sentences and learn new vocabulary!). I have done character bingo (with lovely pictures from the Baz Luhrman film), opposites (life/death, love/hate, Montegue/Capulet etc), sentences with different tenses, rhymes, match the quote to the character and an interactive quiz on the whiteboard. We also have a dance party each session - because Romeo met Juliet at the Capulets party. I have had to put One Direction and Katy Perry on my iPad.
And the kids are getting it. They are getting the big themes of love, and lost love, and jealousy, and death. I have put the expectation to them that they will engage with this text, and they have risen to the challenge. They are talking about it and recognising themselves in characters. They are excited about learning. The teachers are really amazed and supportive. We divide into teams of Montegues and Capulets and taunt each other across the classroom. We have made banners for Montegues and Capulets, and disguises for when we creep into the party.
I am so excited about this that I am going to start adapting some more of the senior texts for the students that I work with. Macbeth maybe.....
Sometimes my job is pretty fun.
Monday, June 10, 2013
playing with your food
This semester at work I have been doing a LOT of food play. There are some small people at work who are very reluctant eaters - they have trouble being in the same room or at the table where food is, they have a very limited range of foods they will eat (a couple of students just have milk/formula as their main nutrition), and different tastes and textures really overload their sensory systems. Part of their goals at school include eating a wider variety of foods, and that's where I come in. With food play.
My goal is to have a calm learning space and whittle away at some of the sensory barriers these kids have around food. The teacher and I introduce a carefully selected range of tastes and textures, and we explore the food - what does it look like, smell like, feel like, taste like.... We put the foods straight on the table as we found that trays inevitably ended up on the floor upside down. It's really not as messy as it sounds. But I have to remember not to wear white on food play days.
It has been amazing what the kids have started doing all by themselves when we have taken away the pressure around food. When the main aim is calmness and self exploration they are really stepping up. We do lots of modelling of how to taste and eat the food, but we don't force any of the kids to do it.
On student has tried tasting foods he has never put in his mouth before, one student has expanded out his range that he will bite, one student has started touching foods in the clean up time (there is a set up and clean up time for each session to give a beginning and an end), and one student has stopped lying on the floor and screaming when food is around. This is all exciting, and when I look back at how far we have come over the last five months, I am excited to see where they will go by Christmas!
These photos are from some food play I did with a relative a couple of years ago - exploring different textures with the same colour food making a car, exploring different colours with the same shape food while making a tower, and a dinosaur swamp exploring different tastes with the same consistency.
I really like exploring food with the kids. And I am overcoming a few of my own sensory barriers - we all have them!
My goal is to have a calm learning space and whittle away at some of the sensory barriers these kids have around food. The teacher and I introduce a carefully selected range of tastes and textures, and we explore the food - what does it look like, smell like, feel like, taste like.... We put the foods straight on the table as we found that trays inevitably ended up on the floor upside down. It's really not as messy as it sounds. But I have to remember not to wear white on food play days.
It has been amazing what the kids have started doing all by themselves when we have taken away the pressure around food. When the main aim is calmness and self exploration they are really stepping up. We do lots of modelling of how to taste and eat the food, but we don't force any of the kids to do it.
On student has tried tasting foods he has never put in his mouth before, one student has expanded out his range that he will bite, one student has started touching foods in the clean up time (there is a set up and clean up time for each session to give a beginning and an end), and one student has stopped lying on the floor and screaming when food is around. This is all exciting, and when I look back at how far we have come over the last five months, I am excited to see where they will go by Christmas!
These photos are from some food play I did with a relative a couple of years ago - exploring different textures with the same colour food making a car, exploring different colours with the same shape food while making a tower, and a dinosaur swamp exploring different tastes with the same consistency.
I really like exploring food with the kids. And I am overcoming a few of my own sensory barriers - we all have them!
Thursday, August 2, 2012
the spaghetti approach
I am really enjoying some of my work at the moment. Kids are communicating. Teachers are GETTING it. And I heard these words come out of my mouth
'I am a spaghetti kind of speech pathologist'.
Needless to say the teacher who I was talking with looked at me a little askance.
I continued:
'Well I just like to throw everything at the wall like spaghetti and see what sticks. Symbols, signs, talking, gestures, technology - let's put it all out there.'
I think she got me.
I have been looking more and more for the moment. The moment of communication where I am connecting with these kids. I'll set up all sorts of craziness with millions of props, and be very dramatic, and quiet, and expectant, and long for the moment. All the theory about stages of communication is bubbling away in the back of my head, and I have a loose plan for the session but I follow the child or group's lead, and I am modelling their PODD book or their communication device or intensively interacting with them - but mostly I am aiming for the smile and the 'a-ha you're here with me and let's have fun together'.
Then we can start a conversation.
Possibly about spaghetti.
'I am a spaghetti kind of speech pathologist'.
Needless to say the teacher who I was talking with looked at me a little askance.
I continued:
'Well I just like to throw everything at the wall like spaghetti and see what sticks. Symbols, signs, talking, gestures, technology - let's put it all out there.'
I think she got me.
I have been looking more and more for the moment. The moment of communication where I am connecting with these kids. I'll set up all sorts of craziness with millions of props, and be very dramatic, and quiet, and expectant, and long for the moment. All the theory about stages of communication is bubbling away in the back of my head, and I have a loose plan for the session but I follow the child or group's lead, and I am modelling their PODD book or their communication device or intensively interacting with them - but mostly I am aiming for the smile and the 'a-ha you're here with me and let's have fun together'.
Then we can start a conversation.
Possibly about spaghetti.
Thursday, June 7, 2012
little wins
So I have been going to the gym for a group training session three times a week for about 8 weeks now - 6.30 AM (still not sure that is a real time) Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. My fitness and strength has been slowly improving, for example the first time the trainer said 'let's run' I said 'I hope there is a plane to catch cause that's the only time I am running', to now he says 'let's run' and I can do two whole minutes running at a reasonable treadmill speed. I can also now do push ups without my arms shaking like jelly being poked - and yesterday I even tried a push up on my toes not my knees.
Bam. Little win.
At work I have been encouraging communication with all the kids using PODD books as a strategy with some of them. These books are full of pragmatically organised symbols and have lots and lots of vocabulary eg a page of pictures for family, for animals, for feelings - so you'll be playing with blocks using the blocks vocabulary and then be able to say my brother had a birthday and my foot hurts. You know, random stuff kids say, except the kids I work with can't say it out loud, they have to use other ways to get their messages across. These books are a little bit labour intensive to make, and I would like ten at my school for kids to use from, um, yesterday. So I asked if there was any time available for a teacher aide to help me with construction of the books. As it turns out, a rat had eaten through the heating wires to the pool and so the kids couldn't go swimming, so there were two spare teacher aides for a WHOLE DAY yesterday to help me make communication books. It is worth being cheeky sometimes and asking.
Bam. Little win.
I have just realised that after months/years of having children that find it difficult to go to bed that for the last month they have been putting themselves to bed, not coming out, reading a book and going to sleep. It is amazing. Especially because I pretty much stop parenting after 8.30 pm.
Bam. Little win.
 |
| A person from google images demonstrating the awesomeness of Catriona's push up yesterday. It was exactly like this. |
At work I have been encouraging communication with all the kids using PODD books as a strategy with some of them. These books are full of pragmatically organised symbols and have lots and lots of vocabulary eg a page of pictures for family, for animals, for feelings - so you'll be playing with blocks using the blocks vocabulary and then be able to say my brother had a birthday and my foot hurts. You know, random stuff kids say, except the kids I work with can't say it out loud, they have to use other ways to get their messages across. These books are a little bit labour intensive to make, and I would like ten at my school for kids to use from, um, yesterday. So I asked if there was any time available for a teacher aide to help me with construction of the books. As it turns out, a rat had eaten through the heating wires to the pool and so the kids couldn't go swimming, so there were two spare teacher aides for a WHOLE DAY yesterday to help me make communication books. It is worth being cheeky sometimes and asking.
 |
| This is a kind of PODD book. It is amazing watching kids communicate. It blows my mind. |
Bam. Little win.
I have just realised that after months/years of having children that find it difficult to go to bed that for the last month they have been putting themselves to bed, not coming out, reading a book and going to sleep. It is amazing. Especially because I pretty much stop parenting after 8.30 pm.
 |
| Catriona's children realised it was really not worth the trouble coming out of bed past 8.30 pm, as their mother really DID turn into an ogre. |
Bam. Little win.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
in the right job
The last couple of days I have had such good sessions with kids at work. I am working at a couple of special schools at the moment - so what I am aiming for with a lot of the children is communication, engagement and relationship. I have been using interactive storytelling a lot - call and response repetitive poems and stories around a stretchy piece of lovely blue spandex. I lead the kids in a story with repeating phrases and actions, and they help with the characters and responses.
Just in the last day there have been responses from kids that I have never heard verbalise before - one girl said 'help' and 'oh no' today - first thing I have heard her say in three years - we nearly all fell off our chairs - one lovely very autistic five year old boy did all the actions to the story (The Gruffalo) and replied emphatically 'NO' when asked if there was a giraffe in the story, and one ten year old boy with Down's Syndrome said 'thank you' at the end of the session - the teachers have never heard him say anything - and it was caught on video as well!.
My job is awesome sometimes - I get to be creative, catch the joy, hear their first words, build up their vocabulary, play with rhythms and rhymes, and talk all day. It takes a bit of planning and thought, and laminating and resource making, and trial and error. It takes teachers and teacher aides who are willing to go along with my craziness and practice language every day with the kids.
There is research and background knowledge and rationale behind all the strategies I try. I use the spaghetti method of communication therapy - throw everything at the wall and see what sticks - signs, symbols, talking, technology. But the moment you can't plan for is when the kid peeks out at you from under a parachute and smiles, and finishes the poem 'Connor is someone that I know, but not as scary as the ....... 'u-o-o' (gruffalo).
God certainly had me in the right place at the right time today.
Just in the last day there have been responses from kids that I have never heard verbalise before - one girl said 'help' and 'oh no' today - first thing I have heard her say in three years - we nearly all fell off our chairs - one lovely very autistic five year old boy did all the actions to the story (The Gruffalo) and replied emphatically 'NO' when asked if there was a giraffe in the story, and one ten year old boy with Down's Syndrome said 'thank you' at the end of the session - the teachers have never heard him say anything - and it was caught on video as well!.
My job is awesome sometimes - I get to be creative, catch the joy, hear their first words, build up their vocabulary, play with rhythms and rhymes, and talk all day. It takes a bit of planning and thought, and laminating and resource making, and trial and error. It takes teachers and teacher aides who are willing to go along with my craziness and practice language every day with the kids.
There is research and background knowledge and rationale behind all the strategies I try. I use the spaghetti method of communication therapy - throw everything at the wall and see what sticks - signs, symbols, talking, technology. But the moment you can't plan for is when the kid peeks out at you from under a parachute and smiles, and finishes the poem 'Connor is someone that I know, but not as scary as the ....... 'u-o-o' (gruffalo).
God certainly had me in the right place at the right time today.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
gift of the gab
I have been meaning to write this post for a while, but trying to think of the correct phrasing is tricky.
Gab was an elective mute until about the middle of grade two - and she still has significant difficulties talking with new people (she is currently in grade four). As an extroverted speechie it has been quite a journey having an introverted, slightly sensory defensive, elective mute daughter.
When she was a tiny thing she only spoke to immediate family. And sometimes tradesman. She was right on developmental norms for starting her talking - single words at about 12 months, words together at about 22 months. But she steadfastedly refused to talk to anyone at church or kindy or at parties. She would cling onto my neck or crouch behind my legs and whisper constantly 'when are we going home'.
 |
| Gab age three. On my lap - default position. |
At kindy her teacher was desperate for Gabby to talk with her and would try every trick in the book. Gabby's red ringlets and big green eyes invited comment and conversation. But the more she pushed the more Gab would clam up. She was nervous and anxious, and exercised her control by her silence.
Her Sunday School teacher was also very keen for Gab to speak to her. I asked Gab 'Why don't you talk to Mrs ____'. She replied "I will talk with her when I am four'. Her birthday came on a Sunday, and her teacher had prepared a cake and a present and a party hat, and said 'Mum told me that you were going to talk to me when you were four'. And Gabby said 'Yes. Hello.' And that was it. No more talking for the rest of the year.
Many adults have tried and failed to get Gab to talk with them. Here is what I did with my elective mute daughter:
- checked her language and speech and hearing was okay (fortunately I could do the language assessments myself, and I got her hearing checked at the audiologist) - all developmentally good - some children can be electively mute because they have significant speech difficulties
- ALWAYS expected her to reply and left space at the end of my comments, even if she didn't fill them in for a long time
- didn't MAKE her talk to new people - I think I instinctively realised what a big deal it was for her with anxiety and sensory issues
- encouraged her gently when she did talk with someone but didn't make a huge deal out of it
- took her to dancing - which I think was a big confidence builder for her where she had to perform in front of people but not talk
- made youtubes and recordings of her talking at home to send in to her prep teacher/year one teacher so they could do assessments with her language
- remembered that she is introverted and needed recharging time at home playing in her room (unlike Annika and I who need people all the time)
- let her teachers lead the way with her progress and their expectations at school, and she has had some really good teachers who look after her
and recently I have enrolled her in horse riding where she needs to use her voice to control the horse, and be quite firm with it.
In the last year she has really started talking with new people - she will rarely initiate a conversation but will reply well. And she talked about joining the drama club at school this year! Last year she needed to practice her school orals about 50 times.
I think her slight sensory issues also have something to do with the elective mutism - she is picky with her food, she wears particular comfortable clothing, she gets upset with sand and dirt and insects. But she overcomes all this most of the time and deals with it well.
At home she is the funniest person I know, and the loudest and one of the most imaginative. She is very caring with young children and she wants to be a paediatric nurse at the Mater when she grows up - I can see this happening as she is determined, a good listener, not squeamish at all with body functions and injury and loves babies.
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| Gab age 5 |
Gab is a gift.
Friday, August 12, 2011
just eat it
I have been on a three day very intensive conference on 'Picky Eaters and Fussy Feeders'. Three days and a LOT of information.
In our family we have a picky eater. I know lots of other little people who are fussy feeders. It is frustrating and tricky and sometimes you fail like you are failing your job as a parent because your child won't eat.
I learnt a few liberating things. Really for kids it is all about them. So they are not refusing to eat just to make you angry. They are dealing with all sorts of sensory or oral motor issues their brain is firing at them. So it is not really what I am doing that is making them not it (but I could be contributing by increasing the adrenalin and anxiety).
And there are heaps of things you can do to support a child who doesn't eat. I spent three days learning all about it. Position, sensory supports, food hierarchies, steps to eating, development of foods, oral motor development, food 'jags', systematic desensitisation....
I am looking forward to applying all my new knowledge at work before it leaks out of my brain and dribbles down my neck.
In our family we have a picky eater. I know lots of other little people who are fussy feeders. It is frustrating and tricky and sometimes you fail like you are failing your job as a parent because your child won't eat.
I learnt a few liberating things. Really for kids it is all about them. So they are not refusing to eat just to make you angry. They are dealing with all sorts of sensory or oral motor issues their brain is firing at them. So it is not really what I am doing that is making them not it (but I could be contributing by increasing the adrenalin and anxiety).
And there are heaps of things you can do to support a child who doesn't eat. I spent three days learning all about it. Position, sensory supports, food hierarchies, steps to eating, development of foods, oral motor development, food 'jags', systematic desensitisation....
I am looking forward to applying all my new knowledge at work before it leaks out of my brain and dribbles down my neck.
Friday, May 6, 2011
something funny at morning tea
So I have to share a fantastically funny moment that happened to me at work this week. Brought to me by the amazing mind of a four year old.
I was having morning tea with two young ladies at the early childhood development unit on Tuesday. Everyone else was outside playing as they had quickly scoffed their morning tea, but these two girls and I were just sitting around, shootin' the breeze and practising communicating with a PODD book. Neither of the two girls was verbal, but they were great communicators in every other way. I was showing them how to navigate between the pages of the book, and find the symbols that we needed to talk about the topics we wanted, like the approaching storm, fashion, economics, Doctor Who (by the way very excited about the new series) and what we were eating for morning tea. However, being a generic book we were working with, it did not have symbols for any of the morning tea that we were eating. The page looked a lot like this...
What are we to do? I bemoaned out loud. How can we say that I am having a cracker for morning tea? The DRAMA.
Very carefully one of the girls snapped off a piece of the cracker she was eating, put the piece in one of the squares on the page, and pointed to it.
Then smiled beautifully at me.
Then we giggled and laughed and put bits of all our morning tea on the blank squares and told each other by pointing what we were eating.
Some days my job rocks.
Hopefully that did not break too many rules of using a PODD, because maybe the PODD police will get me....
I was having morning tea with two young ladies at the early childhood development unit on Tuesday. Everyone else was outside playing as they had quickly scoffed their morning tea, but these two girls and I were just sitting around, shootin' the breeze and practising communicating with a PODD book. Neither of the two girls was verbal, but they were great communicators in every other way. I was showing them how to navigate between the pages of the book, and find the symbols that we needed to talk about the topics we wanted, like the approaching storm, fashion, economics, Doctor Who (by the way very excited about the new series) and what we were eating for morning tea. However, being a generic book we were working with, it did not have symbols for any of the morning tea that we were eating. The page looked a lot like this...
Very carefully one of the girls snapped off a piece of the cracker she was eating, put the piece in one of the squares on the page, and pointed to it.
Then smiled beautifully at me.
Then we giggled and laughed and put bits of all our morning tea on the blank squares and told each other by pointing what we were eating.
Some days my job rocks.
Hopefully that did not break too many rules of using a PODD, because maybe the PODD police will get me....
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
when communication happens
I am going to go on an excited speech therapy rant again. Stick with me.
Today at school the teacher and I introduced a PODD (Pragmatic Organised Dynamic Display) book to her class. This is basically a big book of small symbolic pictures, all laminated and colourful, arranged in category pages eg an ouside activites page, a cooking page, a feelings page etc.
All except one of her kids have no words yet, and so we are encouraging vocabulary growth and understanding. And we decided to use this symbol book to help us. Basically you point to the pictures as you talk, and to communicate back the kids point to the pictures.
So I started telling the story, using the PODD book, of my sailing adventures and how I go a big bruise on my arm. And one kid pulls the book over and points to 'hurt' 'arm'. And then I go on to tell them using the book that I had forgotten my lunch today, and what should I do. Another child, who has not communicated with me all year with words or signs or pictures or even eye contact, pulled the book over and pointed to the pictures (which were on different pages)
'shop'
'pizza'
He thought I should go to the shop and buy a pizza.
The teacher and I melted with excitement. He had seen my problem, thought of a solution, and communicated it well.
I wondered out loud if there was a healthier option.
He pointed to
'sandwich'
'apple juice'.
SO exciting.
So cool.
Needless to say, I felt compelled to buy a chicken sandwich and an apple juice for lunch and go and eat it with him.
A very good day when communication happens.
Today at school the teacher and I introduced a PODD (Pragmatic Organised Dynamic Display) book to her class. This is basically a big book of small symbolic pictures, all laminated and colourful, arranged in category pages eg an ouside activites page, a cooking page, a feelings page etc.
All except one of her kids have no words yet, and so we are encouraging vocabulary growth and understanding. And we decided to use this symbol book to help us. Basically you point to the pictures as you talk, and to communicate back the kids point to the pictures.
So I started telling the story, using the PODD book, of my sailing adventures and how I go a big bruise on my arm. And one kid pulls the book over and points to 'hurt' 'arm'. And then I go on to tell them using the book that I had forgotten my lunch today, and what should I do. Another child, who has not communicated with me all year with words or signs or pictures or even eye contact, pulled the book over and pointed to the pictures (which were on different pages)
'shop'
'pizza'
He thought I should go to the shop and buy a pizza.
The teacher and I melted with excitement. He had seen my problem, thought of a solution, and communicated it well.
I wondered out loud if there was a healthier option.
He pointed to
'sandwich'
'apple juice'.
SO exciting.
So cool.
Needless to say, I felt compelled to buy a chicken sandwich and an apple juice for lunch and go and eat it with him.
A very good day when communication happens.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
what's the point
Today at work I have been thinking about pointing. I have been to a couple of workshops this year which have talked about pointing being very important.
And it has clicked for me working with the kids at special school today
'The proto-declarative point
is when the attention is joint'
Hear me out on this - before your eyes glaze over and I go into an excited ramble about speech therapy related things.
That moment when a child (about 9 months old) starts to point at things is a turning point. They are saying:
'check that out - it is so cool - I want to share how cool that thing is with you' - sharing an emotional experience with you and an object
or
'what is that - label it for me so I have a reference point for later' - vocabulary building
or
'I want that - hand it over - or you'll hear about it' - requesting
This moment in communication is so exciting. Because the child is telling you something, and waiting for your response. Some older kids, especially those with autism, are not at this joint attention pointing phase. But now I know what I am looking for and wanting to achieve, I can practise it with them.
Today I had a wonderful moment of pointing with a young girl. And she totally got what I was saying and I totally understood what she was communicating. It was very exciting. Because I was looking for her point.
It also makes me think about how we can be 'pointers'. We can be a pointer to Jesus, where people are not looking at us but at God. Where the whole point of what we do is to send others in the right direction. To say 'check this out, it is so great', or label it 'grace'.
Thanks for letting me point this out.
And it has clicked for me working with the kids at special school today
'The proto-declarative point
is when the attention is joint'
Hear me out on this - before your eyes glaze over and I go into an excited ramble about speech therapy related things.
That moment when a child (about 9 months old) starts to point at things is a turning point. They are saying:
'check that out - it is so cool - I want to share how cool that thing is with you' - sharing an emotional experience with you and an object
or
'what is that - label it for me so I have a reference point for later' - vocabulary building
or
'I want that - hand it over - or you'll hear about it' - requesting
This moment in communication is so exciting. Because the child is telling you something, and waiting for your response. Some older kids, especially those with autism, are not at this joint attention pointing phase. But now I know what I am looking for and wanting to achieve, I can practise it with them.
Today I had a wonderful moment of pointing with a young girl. And she totally got what I was saying and I totally understood what she was communicating. It was very exciting. Because I was looking for her point.
It also makes me think about how we can be 'pointers'. We can be a pointer to Jesus, where people are not looking at us but at God. Where the whole point of what we do is to send others in the right direction. To say 'check this out, it is so great', or label it 'grace'.
Thanks for letting me point this out.
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