New Year.....resolutions

It has been a looong time since I have visited here.  So much so that I forgot the password....(or the combo of numbers and letters I regularly use)

It's a new year.  I don't know why I find January 1 so reflective and forward thinking at the same time.  It's really just another day.  But maybe it's because I have packed up the Christmas tree, and started my yearly chuck out rampage through the house that I think about what has gone and what will come.

2015 for me was great.  I even ticked a few of the New Year's resolution boxes - something I have never really done.
- I read War and Peace - long but good and much as the title suggests - a tale of war and peace.  Now all my history knowledge of the Napoleonic war in Russia in the 1800s comes from that book.
- I didn't buy any new clothes for most of the year (fell short by three days in Melbourne!) - after being convicted about trying to do my small part about the clothing industry and workers making cheap clothes
- I lost more than twelve kilos through the crazy strategy of 'Move More Eat Less'.  Although with my cheese consumption pretty high over the festive period I've taken a couple of steps backwards
- I swam a kilometre consistently for about 3-4 times a week all year, even in winter!
- I completed a mini-triathlon

2015 also contained some great memories - visiting Tonga on a short term mission trip, conducting a choir again for church carols, great holidays with friends in Stanthorpe, seeing kids blossom at work after patient and consistent input, performing with choir in some really interesting concerts, doing heaps of puppet shows, family weddings and going to the Boxing Day test in Melbourne.

But I think relationships, as they always are, are the best life can hold.  Deepening relationships and friendships, children growing up (BREAKING NEWS: ONE GIRL CHILD THROUGH GRADE NINE), families growing, new sisters in Christ, and ticking over 20 years of marriage to the most excellent Chris.  Sometimes they have been hard work, and I can always get better at them - more time, more attention, more love - but I know that furthering my relationship with God will spill into making my people relationships hum.

hmmmmm, goals for 2016
- blog at least twice a week
- continue on the downward weight path
- be able to slowly jog all of Park Run (5 km!)
- do another couple of triathlons
- read all of the books in book club
- continue to shop ethically

- and set my heart for forgiveness

my favourite....

I have started back at work over the last couple of weeks.  It has been really rewarding seeing some of the kids and the flashes of progress they have made.  I subjected one child to my happy dance when she communicated using a two symbol combination at morning tea.  This was big for her.

But I have been thinking as I spend time in a workplace and use the facilities - does anyone else have a favourite toilet at an often visited place?  At my work I always go to the one on the right.  I feel weird, underperforming and unsettled in the left toilet.  And at church I always go to the one on the far right.  Almost to the point if there was someone already in it and the other one was spare, I would wait for the right sided loo.

Am I old?  Fixed in my ways?  Slightly on some spectrum?  I did find a slight Morticia streak of grey in my hair the other day and promptly dyed my hair red.  Age is Approaching.

Does everyone else have much more carefree loo visiting habits?

Am I weird?

when at a party

This afternoon we had a lovely afternoon at the 40th birthday party of one of my uni friends.  The weather was lovely, the food delicious and my children relatively well behaved. 

But what does an extrovert like me do at a party when you only know the host, and you don't want to hang around her ALL afternoon because it looks a bit needy?

I decided to:
- sit close to a group of people and laugh at the right bits in the conversation
- help bring out the food and arrange it on the table
- chat with the three year olds about chickens in the back of the garden for a while
- engage the elderly aunts and uncles in conversation by asking about their hobbies - had a long conversation about match stick modelling, model train sets, quilt making and how to make pastry well
- do all the washing up for the party - in which I finally made a couple of friends and we talk for the rest of the afternoon.  My host's lovely aunt told me all about her time in Papua New Guinea, and some other guests and I realised we had a connection long ago.

It made me realise about what it may feel like to be new again at a big gathering, like church, and how important it is to be friendly.  No-one my age really made the effort this afternoon to say 'hi' - they all had their own friends.  It was the older relatives who were kind and initiated conversations with me.  I had to work quite hard to feel part of the party.

So tomorrow at church I will make sure I say hi to at least five people I don't know.  A smile can go a long way to making someone feel welcome and wanted, and actual engagement in conversation an even longer way.

in the last week

I have had lasagna regrets.  I made a very awesome cheese sauce (with the help of a supportive cheese sauce friend), then had that moment of layering anxiety when you can't remember which order the meat, cheese and pasta goes.  Is it meat then cheese then pasta?  Or pasta then meat then cheese?  Anyway - I ended with pasta.  Which burnt.

Lasagna regret.

This really was the best cheese sauce I have ever made.  Maybe it was the rubber band around the whisk cunningly placed there by Lisa to ensure the whisk was not too floppy.  And I did not measure any quantities at all - some butter, some flour, lots of milk, handfuls of grated cheese.

Before it went into the oven to be burnt by my neglect while attending to much more important conversations with the visiting guests.  I was too ashamed to take a photo of the finished crispy black around the edges product.

This is not a cooking blog need I remind you.

We have also had a billet staying with us from New Caledonia for two weeks.  He was ten and on a school exchange.  The girls were desperate to have a billet so I said yes.  It was great having a boy around the house for two weeks - I played soccer a lot and attempted terrible French on him.  Fortunately his English was excellent.

I am pretty sure he left our family thinking he had just spent two weeks in the crazy house.

I also watched my beautiful eldest daughter graduate from the Shine program at school today.  This was a program run by the chaplain that worked on self-esteem and valuing the girls.  She was chosen to do the thank you speech to the volunteer leaders - she did a wonderful job and I got a little teary.

Each day and night is filled with life at our house at the moment - with friends and food and exercise and singing and laughing.  Fortunately I have not even had time to clean the bathroom.

Oh well.

I did have time to go and watch some cool kids play some softball on a Friday afternoon at interschool sport.  Yay.

And an exercise update.  I can now run for 8 minutes on a treadmill at a speed of 10. With some small huffing and puffing breaks.  That is quite a lot of running for me.  For about 20 seconds today I felt like I was actually running smoothly.  Then I thought about it and lost my rhythm.  At least I know if I am running away from a bear, and there is a treadmill nearby I can run away from the bear for 8 minutes.  After that I would be mauled.

How DO you layer a lasagna?

toecicles

 My poor husband complains I have toecicles at night.  Frozen metatarsals. Icy tips.


Well what use is a warm husband if not to warm your toecicles?

a classic

Went to watch a wedding today of a friend from church.

We scrubbed up well.  And listened to the lovely strains of the classic Anglican marriage service. Those words are comforting and strong - for better for worse, for richer for poorer,  in sickness and in health, until death do us part.  It was a reminder of the promises I made nearly seventeen years, two kids, less wrinkles and two dogs ago.

They both cried during the vows.  Awwwww.

She looks so pretty and cool.  Sometimes I wonder how I know such pretty, cool people. 

I just hope my cover of inner dagginess is not blown soon. 

For example, I have been asked to give a quick talk tomorrow (let's say 2 minutes) at a church lunch and have over prepared as usual with a photo slideshow, video presentation, notes and amusing anecdotes. 

Nerd.

But a nerd very happy to see a friend get married.

not much blogging

not much blogging going on here.  Instead I have been
- going to a 4-day conference on inclusive technologies (Spectronics) - it was pretty awesome.  My head is so full of stuff about how to use ipads in the classroom and developing literacy in special schools that it is going to take a while to filter down into my daily work
- singing hard songs in choir
- riding bikes with the girls - they are fast now!
- having lovely dinners, lunches and cups of tea with lots of lovely people.  Ahh, socialising, it rocks my world
- planning and preparing and thinking - lots of performances, training and action coming up in the June/July holidays
- hiding under a quilt - it has turned far too cold in Brisbane.  It is BELOW 20!!  DEGREES CELSIUS!
- reading awesome novels for book club - Anna Karenina - I feel all Russian and dramatic
- learning about who our idols are (for me - probably the ipad), and who we should focus on instead (Jesus)

So....
I will try and remember to take pictures and document things.  But mostly I am just living it at the moment!

it's the climb

to quote M. Cyrus.  At the moment I feel like there is a big mountain for me to get through - conference on Saturday, Gab's birthday with accompanying jobs (cupcakes for school - epic fail by the way - tiny lame things), packing up to go away for a week next week, the house needs quite a bit of attention - really - it's like a toddler following after me going mum mum mum mum mum mum - a pergola to take down and put on council pickup (an extremely satisfying job - when we come back things will have disappeared thanks to the magical city council pickup), children to Get To Places, husbands to actually talk with and not tag like a relay runner handing over a baton...

let's see if there is a google image of mountain climbing












 Oh yeah.

That's actually not me.  At all.  I hate heights and my abs are a little more hidden under comfortable layers.

 

This is not me either.

Actually maybe likening my next couple of days to a mountain climb is a poor metaphor.


It is more like this.


 













Just putting one foot in front of the other and trusting it will all be okay.  Maybe climbing a small incline.  With frequent breaks.  And friends,  And cups of tea.

So Miley the song should go like this - 'it's the small incline with some time set aside for relationships and the satisfaction of getting jobs done' - except that would probably destroy the meter and her sugar pop message.

if I just....

I have been thinking as the year started about how we are pushed to feel discontent.  It is what advertising banks on, and there is often the sense of dissatisfaction that you haven't quite got what the other people have.

'If I just had that extension on the house our lives would be easier'
'If I just worked more our money would be okay'
'If I just was ten kilos lighter I would be happier'
'If I just had well behaved children it would be easier'
'If I was just in a different job I would be more fulfilled'
'If I was just a better cook, photographer, craft head my blog would be more interesting'
'If I just....'

I have to snap out of the 'if-I-justs' and either be content with where we are, or be thankful for the hard work.  You don't remember things that are easy.  You remember the hard stuff that got amazing results.  Which is why I think you have to tell your birth story to as many people as will listen (not that I am going to tell my birth stories here..yet.  I'll wait til we know each other better - okay?).

As I have started work again I realised that having a few years experience is a blessing, and hard won knowledge is respected.  So from having the wobblies about starting work again a couple of weeks ago to enjoying working with the kids has been a mind shift.  Lots of thinking and praying and a positive 'tude has helped.

Last week at the girl's school a boy was knocked down by an out of control car.  He was just walking out of school, minding his own business, and now he is in hospital with multiple injuries with a long recovery ahead.  It could have been any kid at the school.

I will not be discontent or dissatisfied.

If I could just remember that.

and just like that...

my long service leave has ended. 

It went quickly, and when I look back it is difficult to pinpoint exactly what happened to that four months.  I know I held babies, and supported friends, and expanded our world in China.  I know my faith grew and I had time with God.  I know that we didn't have takeaway and the garden looks whipped into shape.  I know that my daughters talked with me and we grew together.  I know that I was able to do more puppetry.

Tomorrow I commence back at work.  It ticks all the boxes for a job - interesting, flexible, part-time, helping change lives, ability to wear shorts and no make-up.  But I am not that excited about starting again.  I have disengaged from my job - and I think it will take a few weeks to get back into it.  Or maybe when I start it will be as if I had never left....I have some paperwork that needs immediate attention (sigh).  I will be more grateful and thankful for my job.

I will be more grateful and thankful for my job.

I will be more grateful and thankful for my job.

(repeat.   and breathe.)

Today we wandered around on the mudflats at Brighton.  Gab freaked out about the crabs.  I wished I was a better photographer.  Scooter went nuts.

Tomorrow....work.

when the time comes

Today we attended the funeral of a lovely gentleman from church.  It was a beautiful service as we remembered him, and I was thinking as I sat there 'I will see him again in glory'.  We saw photos of him as a younger man, and I found out things about him I never would have guessed - only knowing him as a retired gentleman.

When the time comes I would like to go as Doug did - surrounded by his family, 89 not out, quickly (no rehab for me with some young speech pathologist saying have you done your exercises Mrs Pine) and with the sure strong hope of heaven. 

And he chose John 14:1-4 - 'do not let your hearts be troubled...'.

When the time comes...

For now I will make the most of what I have here - there is plenty of work for love to do.

I declare...

that there is not a really good word in English for an adult that is a friend and not a teacher and not a relative but you still need to show some respect for the adult.  Mrs Surname is too formal, and Shazza is not respectful enough.

I learned today that there is such a word in Afrikaans as I was having a cup of tea with my lovely South African friend at our annual book covering party support group (as a side note all books are now covered for the school year with relatively little bubble contact action and much use of the new label maker).

The word is 'Tannie'.  An aunty who is not a real aunty but a friend aunty.

So from now on I will encourage my children to call adults friends using the address 'Tannie "insert name here".

I forgot to ask if this was for both male and female adults.  We could offend the Springboks if we yell out at a game 'SCORE TANNIE "insert current Springbok player name here".

the bug library

I was doing reading groups today in Gabby's grade three classroom when I heard about a scheme that one of the students had been running.

Each lunchtime this enterprising girl had set up under a tree with containers, habitats and bugs...and had started a bug library. 

You were able to borrow a bug and a container from her for a day, take it home and bring it back the next day.  She had staff to catch the bugs in the school playground, and individually crafted habitats for each bug.  There were pecking orders about who was able to borrow the bugs, and a strict roster and lending times for the bugs.

I am not sure what the bugs in the playground thought of this system, but insect life at the school appears to be scarce all of a sudden.  The bug hotline has run...well...hot.

long service leave

I have taken this term as long service leave.  When I filled in the paperwork for it in January I thought - oh, I might take it a bit slow in Term 4.  Smell the roses.  Sit and have a think.  Have long ladies luncheons.  Calmly help my children with homework and have time for art projects.

HA.

I think I have said 'yes' to too many things in my long service time - thinking - I'll have lots of time now that pesky work is not in the way.  I have not even had much time to clean the bathroom let alone sit and think.  Although cleaning the bathroom is never ever high on the agenda for me.

I have written out a list of Jobs Around The House.  Actually I have accomplished a few of them (with help) - built a chook house, got a sink on the deck, weeded out the back garden, cleaned out cupboards and filled bags for Lifeline.  I am passively resisting painting.  I do not enjoy painting.

I have also written a list of Things That I Never Get Around to Doing.  Such as organising photos and transferring videos from the camera.  So far this has not been accomplished.

However.

Scooter is being trained.  A well trained border collie is a thing of beauty.

I have supported my quite fragile older daughter this term when she has had friendship meltdowns and emotional mornings/afternoons/nights.  If I was at work I would already have had many sick days to look after her.

I have also had the opportunity to do some wonderful ministry by just being available.  Like holding new babies, and minding 20 month olds, and contributing to kids ministry at church, and planning properly for RE, and coming up with LOTS of ideas for growth  groups, and writing stories for a kindy in China, and helping with Christmas carols, and helping friends who need a listening ear and a cup of tea.

The other exciting part of long service is the opportunity to do a lot of puppet shows in the weeks leading up to Christmas.  The scripts are written, rehearsals are happening, and Wide Eyed Stories are nearly booked up!  Yay - my little dream and hope of being a puppeteer is starting to happen.

Who knows in 2012?  Work? Who has time!

the ditzy fee

Recently I have had to pay a few ditzy fees.  This is the expenditure that occurs through simple lack of concentration on my part. The times where I have to pay up for being vague and distractable.  And the ditzy fee has been quite high in the last month.

Here is the ditzy fee account for the last month.

I scraped someone's car with the nose of my car while parking in our local supermarket carpark.  It was a mum from school that I said 'hi' to while I was grocery shopping, little knowing I had just removed the paint from her station wagon's back door.
Ditzy fee = insurance excess

I was singing loudly to Wicked and talking to the girls while driving past a stationary speed camera in the Clem7.  I was 11 km over the limit.  I was warned three times about the camera through signage.
Ditzy fee = speeding ticket

I have just been to a conference in Adelaide. When registering for the conference at my workplace I accidentally ticked a box saying that I would require accommodation at the conference.  Then I organised other accommodation.  The Mercure rang the conference organisers on the second day of the conference - concerned I was not sleeping in the room they had prepared for me.
Ditzy fee = one unused night in a hotel (I feel a bit tempted to go and get a little shampoo from them).

Maybe my brain is so brimming with fabulous ideas that details drip out the side.  Maybe I need a personal assistant slash carer.

But the ditzy fee is hurting my ipad aspirations.

stylin'

Today on a whim - when I had some unexpected child free time in the local Westfield - I stopped at a booth in the middle of the walkway (I was going to say mall but felt way too American) that proclaimed Free Style Session for 15 Minutes.  Well, I thought,  I have 15 minutes to burn, let's see what this young filly has to say.

I have never been stylish.  Ever.  Even as a much lighter groovy uni going young thing.  I like boots and shorts and comfort and interesting necklaces and scarves.  And have been known to buy two of the same item of clothes because I like the way they fit.  Hence the 'sameness' of my style.

So we sat down and she gave me a voucher for a free coffee - off to a good start.  And I actually liked the clothes she was wearing - even though she was about twelve and very blonde. 

She was not derogatory, she complimented my current outfit, and she smiled a lot.  She did not try to sell me anything.  And she gave me the following tips on what I could wear that would suit me:
- 'v' neckline with details like frills or buttons - draws the eye up towards the face and away from the round tummy
- something that pulls in at the waist that gives an hourglass shape
- length just above or just below my knee - not mid calf or mid thigh - it just screams attention onto the chunky bits
- boots the same colour as tights eg black tights black boots
- jeans that say 'mid rise' on the label - not hipster - and make them a bootleg cut
- no thin straps
- shapewear undies

All was sounding good and achieveable - until she said "I think you would look great in a leopard print".  Then I know our age gap was too great and we would never reconcile the difference.

Style.  It passes me by.

random thoughts

There are some traits and skills and features that animals have that I would like to possess and utilise.  Here are a few:

- a handy pouch at the front like a marsupial - it could store keys, tic tacs, a game of uno, tissues - oh the possibilities
- a sucker fish kind of animal that lived at my house and crawled around the floor cleaning up the toys, bits of paper and maybe even folded the washing
- a parrot that said things to my children like 'time for bed', 'clean your teeth', 'put on some shoes', 'practice the piano' - then they may not get surprised at me all the time that I make these completely unreasonable requests and demands on their time, like they have never gone to bed before any night previously in their whole lives
- the big reproachful eyes of....umm...a cocker spaniel to sit mournfully besides the fridge and beam thoughts into my head like 'don't eat that, let's go for a walk instead'

Just thinking.